...

I have a big “feelings” problem.

Most of the time it’s like I don’t have them; a baseline consisting of nothing, zero, nada. But I know that I do have them—too many of them; I feel them too strongly for my own good. Yet this nothingness permeates, until it doesn’t, and I’m thrown into a hurricane, full of anger and sadness, and even more anger if that’s even possible.

I guess that’s why I resorted to writing. It’s a great tool for analyzing these tempestuous moments. That’s why I’m writing this.

Not that I’m particularly off my baseline right now, but these last few months have been difficult, and it seems like things aren’t getting any better; it only takes a moment for the tides to shift.

This is the start of something.

Or maybe it’s not a start at all, and maybe instead of something, this is nothing.

I don't think I'll ever be sure.